Lessons to learn from the popular Netflix series “YOU”
Season One depicts the idea of stalking and dating violence as a romantic adventure. The way that viewers develop a love/hate relationship with the main character, Joe, is very similar ways that you might develop conflicting feelings in an abusive relationship. Some thoughts you might have are “Well on one hand, my partner is so romantic and funny, but sometimes they’re possessive and scary. It’s good most of the time as long as I don’t make them mad.” This can be a rationalization for someone that makes it harder to leave that relationship.⠀
Season Two makes the stalking behavior and intimate partner violence less obvious, allowing viewers to be neutralized by the danger that is really being shown. Throughout the show we are able to see the main character isolating his love interest by eliminating competing figures in their life. Additionally, Joe stalks their every move and social media presence.
Season Three, which just released this October, viewers are shown first hand that even when abusers promise they will get better will often go right back to psychological manipulation and abusive tendencies. These kinds of behaviors are NOT NORMAL and represent the classic signs of Domestic Violence. Abusers will often go to great lengths to hide that what they are doing is hurting their partner.
While the Netflix series “You” is based on fictional events, the parts in which Mr. Goldberg’s character align with those of an actual abuser should not be overlooked. This is happening in our world every day and knowing the signs of domestic violence, gaslighting and abuse just might save your own or a loved one’s life.
If you or someone you know is experiencing emotional abuse, sexual abuse, domestic violence or any of the above situations, there is a 24-Hour Statewide Hotline: 1-800-334-2836. We are here to help. You are not alone.
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