Comments on: Teens and Relationship Abuse – What Do You Think?

By: Brandon Dykes & Mena Johnson ( Grady Teen Services)

Brandon Dykes & Mena Johnson ( Grady Teen Services) — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 22:03:55 +0000

I think when my peers are involved with someone romantically now days I hear them referring to it as talking. Why just talking? Talking in a since of a relationship can be used in two ways. When referring to a serious relationship and as simple common friends getting to know each other. It’s a way of making sure that your relationship is actually going to work, before letting everyone know you’re romantically involved. It’s some what a method of privacy to keep people out of your relationship.

Most teens mistake abuse for rough playing or caring to a high degree. It’s not considered abuse until later on in the relationship, when it’s at its peek or to late. Even marks such as bruises or scares don’t convince teens that they are in an abusive relationship. Many just feel there partner loves them, and use the term love as a clinch. It’s easier to see someone in a bad relationship rather than admitting that you are in one of your own.

By: Catherine Daniels

Catherine Daniels — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 21:35:05 +0000

There are two names of what I call a teenage being in a romantic relationship: one is “hooking up”, second is “dating”. Now within those two words there are different meaning depending upon the language of the teenager and their friends. I graduated highschool in 2005 and when I heard my friends use the term “hooking up” it gave the demeanor of being sexually active and not looking for a relationship; wanting some sort of physical and emotional connection without the baggage of being in a realtionship. When I heard others talk about dating you never really knew if those who were dating someone whether they were in a serious or physical realtionship unless you knew the person on a personal level.

I agree with Alice as far as teens not recognizing abuse within their relationship; however, most know what a “bad” or “unhealthy” relationship looks like from watching others. So, it would be great to give teenage girls examples of what an abusive relationship looks like.

I know that from my experience I dated a guy for almost 2 years and after the first year he started to change and he become controlling and honestly verbally abused me, and it took awhile after I ended that relationship to build my self confidence and self-esteem back.

One thing I know for sure from watching others, is that majority of girls feel they have to find their self worth witin a relationship with a guy, and honestly they just need encouragement from family, and friends, and need to get involved with things that build their self confidence. I work alot with 10th grade girls, and this is what they said has helped them is by being involved and by having someone investing in their lives.

By: Alice

Alice — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 20:06:59 +0000

I was always so mortified when I would be going out with a guy and my mom would tell her friends that my boyfriend and I were “going steady.” It was so 1950′s.

I think that people use the language now about “hooking up” because they don’t want people outside of that hook up to know what it actually means. It’s a way to keep things private and somewhat mysterious as to the depth of your physical and emotional relationship. I have heard so many people both heterosexual and homosexual refer to their “partner” so that they don’t have to define if it’s someone they’re married to, living with, dating or otherwise hooking up with. It’s just so much easier.

A lot of times, I think that maybe teens don’t recognize abuse, but they do recognize that someone is in a bad relationship. I think defining what a bad relationship is would help so many teens figure out what a healthy relationship is and what isn’t.